Quiet: The Power of Introverts
“The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some, it’s a Broadway spotlight; for others, a lamplit desk. Use your natural powers — of persistence, concentration, and insight — to do work you love and work that matters. Solve problems. make art, think deeply.”
Those who know me at all will know that I’m a classic introvert. I’ve never been that interested in large parties or any situation that requires me to improvise in front of people, whether it’s a drama class or a brainstorming meeting. On the flip side, I also love being surrounded by friends and grew up as an artist and performer. Those two sides of me didn’t make sense, until I picked up Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain.
I read this book for the first time in high school, and I’d never felt more seen by a nonfiction writer before. Now that I’ve been out of school for a few years, I decided to reread it recently to see if I discover any new takeaways. And, of course I did. Here are the four reasons I think everyone should read this book.
1. As an introvert, I now understand why I’ve always felt a little out of place in the world, and this book gave me a new appreciation for being different than the norm.
Similar to many introverts I know, I’ve always felt like I didn’t belong. I vividly remember reading this book for the first time and feeling understood for the first time ever. Not only does this book do a great job at explaining what introversion is and identifying how extroverts and introverts take in the world differently, it celebrates introverts’ strengths that often go unnoticed or unrecognized. This alone has helped me think of myself in a more positive light and explain to others why I work or socialize differently than they do.
“Introverts living in the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are. Extroversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we’ve turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform.”
2. The Extrovert Ideal is a real thing, and being aware of it allows us to develop a society were all of us thrive.
Yes, I work in an extroverted industry, but even those who don’t can feel the effects of living in a society that exalts what’s called the “Extroverted Ideal.” As I’ve learned from this book, our society places a lot of emphasis in being confident and taking up space. Introverts are often told that we need to “put ourselves out there” or that we need to speak up more often, whether it’s at school or in the workplace. Susan Cain not only explains what the Extroverted Ideal is, she goes into why certain cultures have embraced it while others haven’t. No matter your personality type, it’s really fascinating.
This aspect of the book makes me wonder what would happen if more companies recognized the strengths that introverts provide in problem solving, writing and strategic thinking, among others. That way, introverts feel less pressured to act like extroverts, and companies as a whole will benefit from the skills introverts already bring to the table.
“Whoever you are, bear in mind that appearance is not reality. Some people act like extroverts, but the effort costs them energy, authenticity, and even physical health. Others seem aloof or self-contained, but their inner landscapes are rich and full of drama. ”
3. This book clearly defines introversion and extroversion, and it debunks so many myths about personality types that shape our assumptions about each other and ourselves.
One of my pet peeves is when people will say, “I’m an extrovert because I love people, but I also really need time to myself to recharge before I can go out in the world again.” I know plenty of extroverts who do need alone time, but whenever I hear someone say something like this, I wonder if they actually understand what introversion is.
This book defines the terms we need to know to understand our personalities, and it debunks some common myths about introverts, such as introverts hate people; all introverts are shy and quiet; introverts would rather be alone than around others; etc. This further validated my own identity, since as I’ve mentioned, I am an introvert who loves to perform and socialize. The difference is I feel more energized when I’m alone, and I feel drained when I’m overstimulated. Plus, I personally can’t stand when stereotypes about introversion are perpetuated since they’re almost always presented as negative traits, and the more we understand ourselves and each other, the less likely we will turn to those myths as fact.
4. If you’re an extravert, this book will help place you in the shoes of your introverted friends, coworkers, etc.
Extroverts, you’re not off the hook. In fact, I think this book is just as valuable to you as it was for me because the more people can understand about introversion, the more we can see it as a positive aspect of our personalities instead of something we need to resist or change about each other. In particular, I think teachers and employers would benefit from reading this book because they may not know it, but the environment they cultivate in school and at work could be detrimental to the success of their introverted students and employees.
So, I hope this inspires you to do your own research on personality types and offers this book as a solid place to start. As a classic Enneagram 4, I’m fascinated by this topic because it’s so introspective. In fact, I’ve been reading a lot about the Enneagram recently, so I may post more about that topic coming up.
Until then, are you an introvert or an extrovert? Let me know!
