The Game of Desire
“I believe that the only true self is the one someone consistently chooses to be, and that simply points to the fact that you do have a choice. Thus, if who you’re choosing to be isn’t working, what’s so wrong with choosing to become something else?”
Well, Happy Valentines Day!
I don’t know about you, but I feel differently about this holiday than past years, though I’m not sure why I’m continually surprised that my life is different during a pandemic. During any other year, I’d enjoy the day at my office with pink-frosted donuts, chocolate-covered strawberries, a champagne cart and cheesy cards with cats on them. This year, I’ve gotten one too many reminders that I’m single and live alone during a pandemic.
You too? Maybe you should pick up this book: The Game of Desire by Shannon Boodram.
Honestly, I hope this book changes my life, though I guess I won’t fully know until I feel safe dating again. That said, I had so much fun reading it, and I can see it making a difference for plenty of women.
This book was recommended to me by my best friend, and I have to admit I was skeptical of it at first, only because I was sure I’d read this book before. Not this exact one, but let’s be honest. It seems like half the self-help books out there were written for single women looking for love, and they all have same advice, so why should this one be any different?
I’m happy to report that I was wrong, and I think so many people would get a lot out of it. I don’t want to share too much because I think it’s more important for you to read the book itself rather than get the highlights from a book review. So, let me convince you. Here are five reasons to pick up The Game of Desire.
1. It advocates for working on yourself first AND provides the steps to do so.
I know. Every book about relationships gives this advice a la how can you love someone else if you can’t love yourself yada yada. But, how many of those books gives you the tools and steps to actually do that work? This book comes with a work book full of quizzes and journal prompts to help you learn more about who you are and what you’re actually looking for in a relationship, from discovering your love and apology languages to defining your priorities.
2. It follows the journeys of five real women.
I’ll admit it. I’m nosy. I love to peer into people’s lives and learn about all the juicy details. This book allows the reader to do that! Aside from the juiciness, I really appreciate that this book features the stories of real women, and I was extremely pleased by the women Shan chose to work with for this project. Each had a different background and was looking for different things out of their relationships, but they all used the same process to figure out what they wanted and how to get there.
“In total, I’ve worked in the intimacy space for over ten years, and wanna know the one conclusion I’ve come to? Most people have no clue what they’re doing, no idea what they’re doing wrong and thus, absolutely no concept of how to change the direction of their romantic fate.”
3. It gives real, specific advise for how to do all the awkward parts of dating like flirting.
If you think you’re bad at flirting and are tired of the age-old advice of jUsT bE yOurSeLf, then this book is for you. Shan breaks down each phase of flirting step by step, so anyone can go into any encounter with confidence, which is the most important thing. All of the advice in The Game of Desire both acknowledges that relationships do require work, including the pursuit of said relationship, but the book also opens to gates to the information that is actually helpful to doing that work. This in itself is refreshing and empowering.
4. Shan is a great storyteller.
While I can appreciate good information for what it is, it’s even better when a self-help book is entertaining. Shan is a great writer, and this is one of those nonfiction books that is just as enjoyable as a fictional story simply because that’s how she organizes it, as a story about an experiment to help five women improve their relationships and grow into who they want to be along the way.
5. My single and married friends love it.
You’d think a book like this would be geared solely for single women, but what I didn’t tell you before is that the best friend who recommended it to me is married. She loved it just as much as I did because, again, relationships are work, no matter what phase you’re in. Everyone can take something from the information and the experiences of the five women featured in this book.
Are you convinced?
There you have it. How are you spending your Valentine’s Day? I am somehow stuck in an ice storm, so I’m spending the day curled up by the fire with my cat rewatching Bridgerton. Yes, I’m aware everyone else has moved on, and no I don’t care.
No matter what your plans are, I hope you feel loved today. ❤️
